Attraction and Depression

Attraction is cruel,
It makes boys want to be cool,
Makes girls wear two pieces while at a pool,
It makes some people feel like a fool...

I do not feel pretty,
I do not feel whitty(smart),
But when i am around other people i cant help but feel Sh**y
For myself i feel great Pity,
For i do not feel the slightest bit pretty..

It makes me feel so sad,
which makes me slightly mad,
It makes me want to cry,
Want to stab my heart and die,
For my love has just been blown sky high,
For every day i must proform a huge lie,
Put on a smile and i cant help but think "oh why?"

WHy should this happen to me?
Why can i be as pretty as can be,
I feel so ugly i wish i could blend in like a tree,
For my love for you will never be...

No matter how much you beg and plead,
I feel as if someone has me on a lead ( A short leash for show dogs)

I do not know what to say,
when i look at you i am filled with dismay,
I have such wierd outbursts because i do not know how to say,
I love you to you in any way,
For my fear travels on through night and day,
That you will reject me and make me pray
Because you are all i though of all day,

Now here i sit,
My heart has been ripped into small bits,
i see the gun close to my bed,
I know soon i will lie here dead,
I wrote a letter to you and this is what it said,
I carved your name onto the bullet babe so you would know you were the last thing through my head,
Now as sure as the letter said that, I was dead...
For now i lie here in my bed,

Cold and alone i will always lie here,
I just want you to know i love you my dear.....